The “Don’ts” of Being a Proper Gentleman
In our recent post “Miscellaneous: 5 Important Gent Gestures,” we laid out five simple gestures that are definitely “do’s” in the realm of being a proper gentleman. Now it’s time for us to lay out some of the “don’ts” of being a proper gent – from a belle’s perspective.
- Don’t be a player: It’s completely fine, if not expected in college, for you not to be looking for a serious relationship. But make sure you’re upfront about this. No girl likes to be talking or hooking up with a guy for an extended period of time only to find out that he has no real interest in a committed relationship. Be sincere about your intentions from the start.
- Especially don’t play two girls at once: Trust me, both girls will find out. Both girls will be furious. And then they’ll tell their friends. And before you know it, your reputation for being that fun, stand-up gent is completely ruined… and it will be very hard to repair.
- Don’t let her become your babysitter: It goes without saying that, as a proper gentleman, you should never be sloppy drunk at a party – especially not in front of a girl you’re trying to impress. And if you ever even think about drunk calling a girl to come pick you up from the bars…stop, put the phone down, and back away slowly… not proper behavior for a gentleman.
- Don’t put her in uncomfortable situations: Always be conscious of where you are and who’saround you. You can usually sense from a girl’s body language whether or not she’s having a good time, and if she’s not, you’ll know it. So be aware of your surroundings and make her feel comfortable… or don’t expect her to be hanging around you again anytime soon.
- Don’t go for the “phase out”: Once again, it’s fine for you to decide that you don’t want a serious relationship in college. But if you’ve been talking or hooking up with a girl for a couple of months – and then suddenly come to this realization – then don’t slowly phase her out of your life. Be honest with her, and tell her you’re simply not ready for a committed relationship. Go for the clean break. It’s much easier than dragging things out, it provides closure for both of you and she’ll be grateful for the lack of mind games.